Diaspora is one of those human experiences that resists simple definition. It is a layered, paradoxical journey often filled with contradictions that vary widely from one individual to another.  Two people may live in the same foreign country under similar conditions, yet one feels liberated while the other feels deeply constrained. One thrives, another endures, and a third drifts somewhere in the grey space in between. The diaspora experience is never uniform. It is a complex mix of opportunity, loss, identity, reinvention, and longing.

People leave home for many reasons. Some migrate voluntarily in search of better opportunities, others by force, and still others by sheer chance. Ambition, necessity, escape, curiosity, or pure circumstance. Their experiences abroad are equally diverse. Some have an exceptionally positive experience, others a deeply unpleasant one, and a large number occupy a gray space where they cannot clearly categorize their experiences as either good or bad. This unevenness inevitably shapes their perception of the host country, sometimes positively, and sometimes negatively. 

For those who thrive in a foreign land, it is easy to say the investment was worth it. For others, the question is more complicated. They might not be living a terrible life, yet when they take stock of everything - the sacrifices, the distance from home, the psychological cost – they are not entirely convinced it was worth it.

The real question, the one that cuts through all the statistics and assumptions, is simple: How does your life abroad feel to you?

From the outside, a diasporan may appear to be living a life no better, or even worse, than what they left behind, yet they feel fulfilled and free. Conversely, others earn well, enjoy comfort, and possess privileges unavailable at home, yet feel trapped. Their captivity is not material. It is internal. Their sense of captivity does not come from material lack, but from a loss of identity, an inner dissonance, or the subtle pressure to conform to a way of life they never fully chose. 

Lessons from the Jewish Diaspora

My study of religion, especially the biblical history of the Jews, taught me a great deal of lessons that illuminate this paradox. According to the biblical accounts, few communities have lived so extensively outside their homeland, navigating foreign cultures, languages, political systems, and hostility. Some assimilated. Some prospered. But scripture rarely tells us whether their outward success brought inner peace. What it does show, unmistakably, is that their greatest source of resilience was community.

Community preserved their identity when geography could not. It softened their disorientation of displacement. It gave them a sense of belonging even where they were outsiders.

The Diaspora Truth We Don’t Acknowledge Enough

The same truth applies today. Living abroad, even in peaceful, prosperous countries, quietly drains emotional reserves. You are constantly navigating social norms, subtle exclusions, and a culture that was never designed with you in mind. The struggle is not always dramatic. Often it is silent, polite, invisible.

Community is what determines whether that experience becomes bearable, meaningful, or transformative.

I have lived in the diaspora for more than fourteen years. My journey began as a college student in Uganda, a neighboring country whose proximity to Kenya and shared cultural traits made the transition seem, at first, almost seamless. After Uganda came Japan, initially for studies and, later, work - an environment far more distant both geographically and culturally. Across these different stages, one constant has shaped my experience: connection with my Kenyan community.

Uganda was not particularly far from home, yet distance is not always measured in kilometers, as I came to learn. After a few months, I began to feel the subtle weight of unfamiliarity. Nothing threatened my freedoms or infringed on my rights, but the environment still felt foreign, just different enough to unsettle my spirit. In those early days, the most ordinary things could make me feel alive again. A Kenyan song playing in a pub would instantly lift my mood. Once, I spotted a Kenyan matatu - a 14-seater van, with the iconic yellow stripe and route names inscribed boldly across the length of the yellow stripe. That sight touched me deeply. It may sound trivial, but at that moment, it was the closest thing to home I had encountered in a long while. Only then did I realize how the things we often take for granted can be the very things that fill the quiet voids within us when we live far from home.

Japan, by contrast, has been a canyon - deep, vast, and culturally distant. Yet the lessons I learned in Uganda guides me. I intentionally seek relationships, build networks, and nurture an ecosystem that recreates, even in small ways, the social and cultural grounding I would naturally have at home. My involvement with the Kenyan community in Japan, especially in leadership, has reaffirmed the transformative power of belonging. 

There is a peculiar magic in meeting a fellow Kenyan abroad. My heart lights up whenever I meet a fellow Kenyan. I observe the same in other Kenyans who speak to me. Whether they are from my precincts in the Tokyo Metropolitan area or far-removed regions of Gunma, Niigata, Kochi or Kagoshima Prefectures. .

One of the most profound things I have noticed is how open people become when they realize you share the same heritage. They speak with a sincerity, vulnerability, and hopefulness rarely displayed in unfamiliar spaces. It is as if knowing that the person before them understands( truly understands) their background and context allows them to breathe more fully. It is as if, in that moment, the weight of being “foreign” briefly lifts.

Why Community Determines the Quality of Diaspora Life

My own experiences echo this truth. Diaspora will always be complex - a mixture of gain and loss, joy and longing, integration and alienation. The odds often feel stacked against you, not because the host country is hostile, but because you are navigating a world whose rules were not designed with you in mind.

Your Community has the power to bend the experience toward fulfillment. It replenishes the emotional reserves that living abroad slowly drains. It provides cultural nourishment, psychological comfort, and a sense of belonging that no foreign environment (no matter how welcoming) can fully offer. It builds resilience. It protects mental and emotional health. It softens the loneliness of dislocation and the weight of being “other” in a foreign place. Community makes all the difference. It determines whether your life abroad feels like paradise or captivity; whether you feel lost or anchored; whether you feel like a visitor or a person with a place in the world. 

The Real Measure of Diaspora

In the end, diaspora life is not defined by visas, salaries, or achievements. It is defined by whether you feel anchored or adrift - whether you feel seen, understood, and connected. Even though the challenges of diaspora life never fully disappear, community is what allows one not only to endure, but to live, to thrive, and to remain whole in a land that is not home. 

And that is the paradox: diaspora is not shaped only by where you go, but by who walks with you when you get there.

-The author is the current President of Kenyans in Japan Association.